So you think your German is not good enough to insult others, well, your hand gesture (the middle finger, e.g.) might be enough for you to be fined by the authorities.

Against common belief, there is no difference in whether you insult a police offer or any other person on the street, the charges remain the same. The charge only differs based on the offender’s income and social standing.

For example, a few years back, a famous German soccer player was fined € 10.000 for calling someone an ‘Arschloch’. An average worker would have gotten away with a much lower fine.

This is a shortlist of the most common insults, which come with a €1.000 fine:

• “Arschloch”, “Drecksau”
• “Wichser”, “Scheißwichser”
• “Blöde Schlampe”, “alte Schlampe”
• “Schlampen, ihr elendigen!”
• “Sie haben den totalen Knall”
• Sie sind “blöd im Kopf”
• “Verbrecherin”, “blöde Kuh”
• “Arschloch” plus showing the middle finger

Insults are not a trivial offense, but a criminal one, based on German law. This can lead to hefty fines or imprisonment.

On the other hand, the statements/name calling listed below remain free of charge:

• “Sie können mich mal …”
• “Oberförster”, “Wegelagerer” oder “Komischer Vogel” to a  police officer
• “Leck mich am Arsch!” (if used around the Stuttgart area)
• “Das ist doch Korinthenkackerei” (when arguing about a parking ticket)
• “Parkplatzschwein” to a person parking in a non-parking zone.

Source: German ADAC – March 2019

Avoid road rage (lovely long German term: im Straßenverkehr ausbrechender Jähzorn), and keep cool.